If You Want
by AshleyTrecartin
Summary: Everything is going great for the Doctor and Rose in Pete's world. That is, until she falls sick with a disease that universe doesn't have a cure for. It's up to the Doctor to find the cure and save her life. Will the universe let them win this time?


If You Want…

_i"I only have one life, Rose Tyler. I could spend it with you, if you want."/i_

He was lying in bed watching her walk around the room in her bra and knickers looking for something appropriate to wear to work. He smiled, his head resting in his palm as he watched her. Things had been so easy since that day on Bad Wolf Bay when they'd been left here together. It had been like they had never been apart. He had merged into a domestic life brilliantly as well. Of course they still had the TARDIS, so they still went on all kinds of adventures together, but every now and then they took a break so she could spend time with her family. It usually wasn't long, about a week or two, and in that time they both helped out at Torchwood.

But he never got tired of watching her. She'd let her hair grow out. It was down past her shoulder blades now and she took to curling it every day. Which he loved. It drove him crazy. He spent all day itching to run his fingers through her hair and loose those beautifully perfect curls. She looked at him over her shoulder from the wardrobe and smiled. "What are you staring at?"

He slowly rose from the bed, letting the sheets fall back down as he slowly stalked over to her. "Oh nothing, just the most beautiful woman in the universe." He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her against him, dipping his head to kiss her. Rose giggled against his lips as she wrapped her arms around him.

"We're going to be late," she whispered, pulling away just enough to speak.

He nuzzled her neck, his scruff from lack of shaving scraping lightly over the skin, causing a musical giggle to escape her lips. "Don't care," he murmured. "We're not even on rotation." He kissed over her pulse and gently pulled her back in the general direction of the bed. It really didn't matter if they landed on it, just as long as he got her away from the wardrobe and forget about putting clothes on. She giggled as he fell down on the mattress and pulled her between his legs, nuzzling her belly. "It doesn't matter what time we go in."

She allowed him to pull her onto his lap and straddled him. She ran her hands from his elbows up to his shoulders, up the curves of his neck and into his disheveled hair. He nearly purred when her nails lightly scrapped over his scalp. He wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her tightly against him. She was so hot in his arms—hotter than usual, even if she was aroused. His previous train of thought forgotten and pulled back and looked up at her, a frown creasing his brown. "Rose? Are you alright?" he asked, worry lining his voice.

She frowned a bit and looked at him. "Of course, why wouldn't I?"

"You're burning up," he said while reaching up to press the back of his hand against her forehead. "Where's the thermometer?" He gently placed her on the bed and went to the medicine cabinet. He came back and handed the thermometer to Rose letting her take her own temperature. When it beeped he took it from her and looked at the reading. "Get dressed. We're going to the hospital." He quickly started pulling on his clothes from the day before.

"Doctor, what's wrong?" she asked, her voice pitchy with panic.

"You have a temperature of over one hundred two, you're i_not/i_ okay." He was trying to remain calm for her benefit but it was getting hard to conceal the worry that was flooding his nervous system like water to a man trapped in the desert. As soon as they were both dressed he slipped his hand into hers and led her out of the house and down to the car that was waiting to take them to Torchwood. He opened the back door for her and helped her inside. "Greg, change of plans, we're going to the hospital," he said to the driver.

"Of course Sir, should I alert Mr. and Mrs. Tyler?"

"No thank you, Greg, I'll take care of that." The Doctor pushed the button that brought the privacy screen up and pulled out his mobile. He quickly found Pete's number and hit connect as his free hand slipped back into Rose's, his eyes watching hers with extreme scrutiny.

"Hello?" Pete's voice came through the phone.

"Pete, it's the Doctor. I'm taking Rose to the hospital. She's got a very high fever."

"I'll get Jackie and meet you there."

The Doctor disconnected the call and tossed his phone onto the seat, turning his body until he was facing Rose completely. "Does anything hurt?" he asked.

Rose shook her head. "I feel fine…" A coughing fit over took her and she nearly doubled over. The Doctor rubbed her back, wishing that there was more he could do for her. His heart was breaking into a million pieces. He was terrified that something was happening to Rose that he wouldn't be able to fix. If that was the case they mine as well dig two graves because he couldn't survive without her. Not again. i_"You wither and you die. Imagine watching that happen to someone you…"/i_ Memories came unwanted and he quickly brushed them away. This universe was more advance than the last one had been. He was sure whatever it was they would be able to find a cure for it.

As Rose's coughing fit let up and she sat up, they both stared horrified at her palm. It was soaked in blood. She looked up at him, panic and fear darkening her eyes and tears starting to form. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him tightly, fighting off his own tears. He was doing everything he could to be strong for her. She needed him to be. Greg pulled the car up to the hospital and there was already a reception waiting for them. Pete must have called ahead.

The Doctor helped Rose from the car and into the wheelchair that had been provided for her. She slipped her hand into his, holding on tightly, desperately. He never let go as he followed the precession into a private examination room. Once they were behind closed doors the Doctor lifted Rose from the chair and gently set her down on the examination table, never letting go of her hand.

The doctor walked over and introduced himself. "I'm Doctor Mandel. I'm going to do everything I can," he assured them. Rose started explaining what had happened since they'd taken her temperature. When she showed him her hand Mandel frowned and rubbed his face. "Are you feeling feint?"

"A bit," Rose admitted.

"It's tuberculosis. I'll have to take a blood sample to confirm it, but I'm almost positive." He rubbed his eyes and started filling out the form for the blood sample.

"Well, that's okay, right?" Rose asked. "There's a cure isn't there?"

Mandel shook his head. "No, there isn't."

The Doctor stared at him, utterly confused. "That's not right," he said shaking his head. "There's got to be one."

Mandel sighed. "I'm going to do everything I can to make her comfortable. The thing is, there have never been enough cases of tuberculosis to strive for a cure." He gave them a sympathetic look and walked out of the room.

"Doctor…" Rose reached for him and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly against him, kissing her hair. His own tears were starting to slip from his eyes. He couldn't hold them back anymore. "What are we going to do?" He didn't miss the desperation in her voice.

This was wrong. He'd just gotten her back. One year with her wasn't enough. He was supposed to spend the rest of his life with her. They were supposed to grow old i_together/i._ They were supposed to get married, have a couple kids of their own, and live in a big house. She wasn't supposed to die. i_It wasn't fair./i_

He took a resolving breath and kissed her hair again. "You're not going anywhere," he told her. "I'm going to get in the TARDIS and find a cure. Even if I have to create it myself," he vowed to her. Rose nodded against his chest as the nurse came in to take her blood. He kissed her head and laced their fingers.

Pete and Jackie came in toting a Tony Tyler on her hip. "Rose, go home with your mother. I'm going to go see what I can do."

"No," she said getting up from the table. "I'm going with you."

He shook his head. "You need to rest."

She gave him one of her determined looks, one he knew there was no point arguing with. "No. If you can't find a way to beat this I'm not going to waste what time we have left lying in a bed while my mother fusses over me. I'm going with you."

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "You're right," he agreed. "Alright." He looked at Pete and Jackie. "I'm going to save her."

Jackie passed Tony to Pete and walked over, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tightly. "Promise me."

The Doctor wrapped his arms around her. "I told you Jackie, I promised you years back didn't I? I promised I would keep her safe, and that's what I'm going to do."

He took Rose's hand and led her back to the car. Greg drove them back to the house and together they walked inside of their TARDIS. She hummed when they walked in, closing the door behind them. She could sense how anxious they were. She was worried about her Rose just as much as he was. Rose stroked the console and gave her a smile. "He's going to make it better girl, just watch."

She was breaking his heart. How she was able to stay so calm through all of this was beyond him. He was ready to break down and cry. He i_couldn't/i _lose Rose. He refused to. He walked over to the console and started doing a search for anything in the universe like New Earth back in the old universe. If a place like that existed they would have to have a cure for tuberculosis. They would be able to help Rose. The TARDIS went into overdrive, just as frantic to find a cure as he was.

The search came back blank.

"Damn it," he swore, pulling at his hair. Rose walked over and wrapped her arms around him from behind, pressing her forehead against his spine.

"Calm down, we've still got the infirmary, right? Let's go to the library and see if there's anything there to help."

He sighed and wrapped his hands around her interlocking ones at his waist. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm trying to be brave."

Rose shook her head and turned him around until she was looking up at him. "I'm just as scared as you are. Let's just go see what we can find." She took his hand and they walked back to the library. Well, he forced himself to walk. He wanted to run. Run and run and run until he found the cure. They spend two hours in the library getting any book that might help and searching the pages. He was able to find one book that had managed to come along from the other universe when the new TARDIS grew. It didn't have much, but it was a start. If he was lucky, very, _very_ lucky he would be able to use the molecular biology in the book to create a cure.

Rose followed him down the infirmary where all of the equipment was. They were halfway there when another coughing fit over took her. She reached out to him, grasping her hand so tightly in his. The pain he felt for her brought fresh tears to his eyes. He scooped her up in his arms and carried her down to their bedroom. "Want to…go with you," she managed between coughing and gasping for air.

He tucked her into bed and kissed her hair. "Please, rest for me," he begged her. She looked up into his eyes and he hoped she saw the desperation there. Reluctantly she nodded and he tucked her into the bed. The TARDIS dimmed the lights for her.

Slowly and quietly he slipped from the room and deftly closed the door behind him. The Doctor leaned against the wall and lifted his head to the ceiling. He suddenly found himself praying to a deity he didn't believe in. i_God please, don't take her from me/i._ With tears that he couldn't contain anymore running down his face the Doctor slid to the ground, covering his face.

This wasn't _fair_! How many times was he going to have to lose Rose for the universe to be satisfied? He'd thought he'd lost her when they had been trapped in Ten Downing Street, when he thought he'd let a Dalek kill her, when the Daleks had attacked on Satellite Five and he'd sent her home and then she'd appeared again with the Time Vortex inside of her. Or how about when they had been facing the devil? Or when he'd lost her during the battle of Canary Warf? Hadn't they paid enough? Hadn't they _suffered _enough?

He wiped the tears from his eyes and made his way back to the infirmary to start working. He was going to keep his promise to Jackie. Hell, he was going to keep his promise to Rose. They were going to grow old together. He was going to spend the rest of his life with her. She was going to be okay. He would make sure of that.

He spent hours with chemicals and a blood sample from Rose in front of him, trying desperately to blend the right concoction of chemicals and biology samples to create a cure. Every time he thought he was close and fed the samples to the TARDIS for analysis it came back negative. Everything he tried would have no effect on her.

When the latest sample was rejected yet again he threw the books and notes to the ground with a pain-filled roar, fresh tears springing to his eyes. He was running out of time. Rose was running out of time. The TARDIS hummed and flashed her lights trying to calm him down. He took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair. She was right. He needed to calm down and think. It shouldn't be this hard. He was supposed to know everything.

He sat back down at the desk and picked up the notes that had fallen everywhere. While he was looking over what he picked up, trying to put them back in the correct order, something caught his eye. A small glimmer of hope started to glow inside of him as he started mixing a new batch, praying that this time it worked. Carefully he measured everything he put into the test tube, making sure it was perfect before feeding it to the TARDIS. When the reading came back positive he broke down. He fell to the floor and wept.

With the syringe carefully poised in his hand the Doctor wiped the skin over Rose's vein with the antibacterial liquid. "This might prick a bit," he warned her before he gently inserted the needle into her flesh. She flinched a bit, but smiled as he started to administer the medication into her blood stream. While he was perched on the edge of the bed, taking extra care not to mar her perfect porcelain skin he made sure to keep his eyes away from the blood stained pillows and sheets. Just because he'd made a cure that would work didn't mean they were out of the clear yet. They were still under the shadow and they had to keep running.

He gently pulled the needle from her skin and taped a bandage over the tiny insertion point and kissed her temple. "This should make you better," he whispered, trying to keep the rasp and crackle from his voice. What he would give to be a full blooded Time Lord again so he could control his emotions better. He needed to be strong for Rose but every fiber of his being was telling him that this had been too easy. Much, much too easy. They never won. The universe—and it didn't matter which one—was determined to split them apart.

When he looked at her he knew they still had a long way to go. She was so pale, and she was drenched in sweat. She looked horrible. She pulled her knees to her chest and held them tightly as another coughing fit wracked her body and stole the air from her lungs. He pulled her into his arms and rocked her, unable to hold back the tears that fell from his eyes.

He didn't know what he was going to do if he lost Rose. He would probably die. Maybe not right away, maybe not a week later, a month, even a year. But he wouldn't be able to live without her. After he'd lost her to this universe and he'd had to battle the Empress of the Racnoss he'd been ready to die. He'd planned on drowning along with her and all of her children in that warehouse. He had promised her that he wouldn't just abandon her, and he had. Then, when he got her back, he could actually stay with her. He could be with her. Now that future was in jeopardy.

He held Rose until the coughing fit was over and then slipped his clothes off and slipped under the covers with her, holding her while she slept.

"Doctor?" He felt Rose stroking his hair and instantly opened his eyes, looking up at her. Her complexion was back, and she wasn't covered in sweat. He desperately reached for the thermometer beside the lamp on the table and made her take her temperature. When it came back normal he released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and pulled her into him, kissing her with everything he had inside of him, pouring all of his love for his precious pink and yellow girl into it.

She smiled up at him, resting her forehead against his, her hands covering his own which held her face. "I love you," he whispered into the space between them.

"I love you too." She kissed him again.

"Marry me." It wasn't a question.

"I can manage that."

He pulled her into him and kissed her again, over and over, not letting her go. He held her for hours. For once the universe let them win. He was going to keep his Rose. They were going to spend the rest of their lives together.


End file.
